Curly hair is easier to take care of than you think
If I can embrace frizz, anyone can.
Welcome back to Soft Hobbies, a series of creative check-ins for imperfect perfectionists around the world. New posts typically go out every Wednesday, and you can respond to this post by liking it, leaving a comment, or replying to this email. I’m Auzin, a Seattle-based writer in the fiction, poetry, and tech writing spheres. To see what else I do across the internet, go here.
Hi softies,
Taking care of curly hair is not as hard as people (SOCIETY!!!) would have you believe. You just have to build a routine that works for you, and it doesn’t need to be difficult or highly involved. The most critical part is finding the right stylist to cut your hair, so you can start with a good foundation.* After that, resist the urge to load your hair down with a ton of product. Find a shampoo and conditioner you like, stop washing your hair every day, use a wide-tooth comb in the shower to detangle, and use a leave-in conditioner or frizz-control cream that works on wet or dry hair. Stop using heat on it, including blow dryers.*
*Sidenote: If you live within driving distance of Seattle and have hair that is anywhere on the spectrum of wavy to ringlets, you should be getting your hair cut by Nina Castro. There’s really no other option, sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
*I use a mini-straightener on just my bangs once or twice a week. Sorry for being a hypocrite, but really the less heat you use on your hair, the better.
One challenging part of having curly hair is the inevitability of frizz. When I was in middle school and high school, frizz was the bane of my existence. I literally had a short-lived nickname of “Frizzy” in middle school (middle school children exist without empathy). My battles against frizz were constant and futile. I remember ducking into the bathroom at school to wet down my middle-parted hair with water, forcing the frizz to lay flat, only for it to dry curly again later on.
I used tons of frizz-control creams and often had very crunchy hair, but I preferred crunch to frizz. I desperately wanted straight hair but didn’t always have the time to flat iron my hair (or ask my mom to do it) before school or big events. When I did straighten my hair, I felt cuter and got ton of compliments on it. Looking back at the photos of me with straightened hair, I think it looks weird.
I cut my hair into a pixie cut when I was 18 and kept it super short for over a decade. I was sick of dealing with the curls and cowlicks and frizz, sick of diffusers and mousse and low ponies and triangle-hair. I hadn’t found someone I trusted to cut my hair yet, and I didn’t want to be associated with having curly hair anymore. Having short hair was the first time I liked my hair — it was a key step on my curly hair journey.
Frizz is literally not that big of a deal. When people with straight hair have frizz, they call it “flyaways.” Why does that sound so much cuter? Combined with bleached hair or edgier styling, frizz actually looks extremely cool. But regardless of your personal style, I promise that nobody else is noticing your frizz, and accepting a little bit of frizz is essential for anyone’s curly hair journey. I just truly don’t care much about controlling every single strand of my hair anymore.
It took a long, long time to accept my hair, and I’m so happy that I’ve finally reached this place. This is the happiest I’ve ever been with my hair. I’ve learned so much about it as it’s grown out from a pixie cut over the last two years, and I can say now that I love having curly hair. I love when it’s really big and ringlet-y on wash day, and when it’s smoother and wavier on non-wash days. I NEVER thought I’d say this because I hated my hair for so long, but I do truly love my hair now. I can’t wait to see how long I can grow it!
Circumstances that helped me love my curls:
Like I said above: getting a stylist who knows how to cut curly hair, who preferably has curly hair themselves, and who you trust is paramount to your curly hair journey.
Cutting my haircare routine down to 3-4 products total, including shampoo/conditioner. I would cut this down even further if I didn’t need a special shampoo for my scalp, which has skin problems that aren’t related to my hair texture. You really need less product than you think. Taking care of my short hair was so easy that I decided to bring the same energy to taking care of it as it grew out.
Growing out a pixie cut is harder than taking care of curly hair. Lol.
Honestly, dating someone who has the same hair texture as me has done wonders for my hair-esteem. It’s nice to feel understood and to do the understanding in return. Plus it’s cute :)
That’s all I have for you today! I hope you don’t mind that this post diverted from our regular programming here at Soft Hobbies. For some reason, I felt called to write about my hair today. We’ll be back to the old routine of what I’m reading, what I’m writing, and what soft hobbies I’m working on next week. Thanks for your time, and please share this post with a curly-haired friend if you feel like it.
Softly yours,
Auzin
Oh I feel this so much! It took me years of chemical straightening and keratin treatments to realise that I actually like my curly hair and I feel more like myself in it. You absolutely rocked that pixie cut!
also your pixie era WAS so tumblr 2013 slay. face card not declining 💳