How to write the best card you've ever written

The secret ingredient? Your big squishy heart.

You’re reading Soft Hobbies, a weekly newsletter for creatives in all mediums, with a special focus on writers. I’m Auzin, a Seattle-based writer in the fiction, poetry, and tech spheres. Feel free to visit my author website or check out my socials.

Greetings to the 340 softies who subscribe to this newsletter! Thank you for being here.

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Hi softies,

Can I brag for a second? I write really good cards. Friends and family have consistently told me so, and I’ve even caused a few loved ones to tear up from reading my words to them. I’ve been hand-writing birthday cards and thank-you notes regularly since high school, and consider them a key addition when I’m gift-giving.

I have a couple small boxes filled with letters from my friends and family, dating back to before I was even old enough to read. I pull them out whenever I’m feeling nostalgic or need to be uplifted. The oldest ones I have are letters from my grandfather that are written primarily in Farsi, sent when he was traveling in France. I think he was the first person (other than my parents) to write to me directly.

The only thing better than writing a card—in my opinion—is receiving one, and the best way to get more personalized cards from your loved ones is to set a good example and write to them yourself.

The right card can endear you to someone forever. Even if you lose touch or drift apart from each other, your words will stay with them physically (if they keep the card, of course). You can express things through writing that may sound insincere or overbearing when spoken aloud. Your writing voice is distinct from your speaking voice, and just as unique, so don’t be afraid of how you’ll come across.

Even if you’re not used to writing cards for people, your recipient will appreciate the effort and time that you put in. It means you were thinking of them, you made the time to do something sweet, and you care about your relationship with them. Also, don’t worry about your handwriting. Anyone can attest that my left-handed scrawl is atrocious and always has been. Maybe my cards take a little longer to decipher than others, but they have character. And my friends will always know who wrote them! Lmao.

My tips for fellow messy scribblers: move the pen more slowly than you normally would, give the ink time to dry, and have some white-out handy.

Note: I wrote this post from the perspective of someone writing a card for an exciting/joyful event pertaining to someone they care about, because I have the most experience with writing birthday and holiday cards. There are many sad events in a person’s life when they would still love to receive a handwritten card. For those, I hope you can take what resonates from this post and leave behind the rest.

Ground rules for great cards

• Don’t write a letter out of obligation. It won’t be truthful or meaningful. You can only write a really good card for someone you care about, and only when you have the time and space to do so. I often skip writing cards during the holiday season because I’m already so overwhelmed with buying, making, and wrapping presents. It’s okay to save your energy for more sporadic gifting moments throughout the year.

• Get blank cards with beautiful designs, or make your own. Who wants a stock message inside messing with your heartfelt words? I like to buy my blank cards at Paper Source, on Etsy, or just the neighborhood drugstore if I’m in a time crunch. Trader Joe’s has a whole wall of cards that can be pretty cute, too.

• Give yourself enough time. A good card takes me about 20 minutes to write, and I try to fill up all the inside white space. I usually take care of it the week before I see the person, but a day ahead is fine too.

• Think about how you want the recipient to feel when they read this card. This will inform what you write and how vulnerable/mushy you want to get. Usually, I want the person to feel happy, validated, and lucky (because feeling lucky for the people in your life is a really good feeling). This is an optional step; you can also just follow your instincts.

Ok so you have your paper, your pens, your stickers and glitter and anything else you’ll use to decorate the card — now what do you SAY? Keep reading for my formula, which you can use as a template for your future card-writing endeavors.

My winning formula for sweet and heartfelt cards

1. “Dear [name]” is a perfectly good opener, but try switching it up for those super-special people who you really want to impress. You can set the tone right from the beginning of the card with “Dearest [name],” “Hey girl,” “My sweet [name],” or even a cute, previously-established nickname.

2. I start off by giving any upfront acknowledgements needed— Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, Congratulations, etc. Then, I almost always start thanking the person. Why? Because it puts the reader in a good mood and makes them think of you as a polite, gracious person who notices all the hard work they put into their life and their relationships. I’ll say something like “thank you for being a wonderful friend this year” or “thank you for always having the courage to be yourself — it’s a great example for the rest of us!” Even “thanks for another lovely year of friendship” is great.

3. Ok, you’ve said hi, given the reason for your card, and said thank you. Now it’s time to compliment! I get pretty effusive here. Typically I say “You are such a _____, _____, and _______ person, and I feel lucky to have you in my life” or similar. Those blank spots can be filled with anything, but remember to be truthful. Write from your heart. What do you really love about this person? They deserve to know! These compliments are a gift that will last longer than any ephemeral present.

3. Remember when? Remind them of a special time you had together over the last year, or a really cool accomplishment of theirs. Say “I’ll always remember when…” or “I feel warm remembering…” If you can get away with it, “I’m so proud of you for…” works wonders.

4. Hope for the future. I always end my birthday cards with some variation of: “I hope this year brings you tons of love, joy, and growth.” The concepts that I state are usually pretty floaty and expansive, so if they’re too vague for you, get specific! “I hope you can finally buy that cabin in the woods this year” or “I hope being a father is everything you’ve dreamed of.” You might think that wishing growth for someone sounds snarky, but growth is essential as people move into new phases of their lives or go through big changes, as we all do every year. Growth is wisdom and experience — both helpful qualities for continuing to survive. Tell your recipient what you hope for them. Extra points if you can align it to their own hopes and dreams. Closing the letter with hope is always a sweet way to go.

5. Your sign-off. Again, make it personal. If you’re a little dramatic like me, “I’ll always be here for you” is a good way to connect with your recipient.

6. The postscript. An admission: I’m not the biggest fan of postscripts, haha. I only write them if I genuinely forgot to include something in the body of the letter. BUT, I also think they can be really cute if you use them for a quick joke, announcement, or final compliment. It’s all at your discretion, of course!

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There you have it — a card that will make someone love and appreciate you forever and ever! Results not guaranteed ;)

I hope this was helpful, and I’d love to know all about your own letter-writing ways. How do you make yours stand out? What’s the best letter you’ve ever received from someone, and why was it so special? Let me know!

Softly yours,

Auzin